August 10, 2008

I am down 1.4 from last week's all time high.
It would help if I had company on the journey, but everyone needs to do what they need to do when they are ready. I am finding it very difficult to do stay the course. I get so scattered. I know it's because I am of a certain age, but it doesn't make things any easier - especially when people get upset with me. I get frustrated with myself and am much harder on myself than anyone else could ever be.

I've mentioned before that in many things, the big picture overwhelms me. I believe it is due to the way my brain processes information. It's why I have a problem with freeways, and it's why I have a problem in other types of big projects (like getting this house in shape). Flylady.net has been a huge help to me in that department. Marly Cilley and company teach us that it's okay to focus on the small things that lead us to completing the big picture. Some people do this naturally. I don't. I never have.

I can remember my mother telling me to go in and clean my room. I would go in - look around - and be totally overwhelmed. She would come back an hour later and I would be sitting on my bed still trying to figure out how to "clean my room." For people like me, a better approach would be to tell me to go in and pick up all of the dirty clothes. That I can manage. That's black and white - couldn't be clearer. People who are born organized - Marla calls them BOs - simply do not get this. We drive them nuts. But I am learning, at my ripe old age of 56, that I can't be anyone but myself. And I have to deal with the fact that there are people who aren't going to like me.

The older I get, the easier it is to tune out people who have nothing better to do than tear down others. I am learning lessons now that I wish I had learned long ago - but we learn the lessons we need when God decides we are ready - and not before. This has led me to accept and celebrate the idiosyncrasies of other people in a way that I never used to.

Anyway, I started over last Sunday and am going to concentrate only on my goal for that week. My goal for next week is to be down 1.5 pounds. That is ALL I am going to focus on. Small weekly goals that will help me to complete the bigger picture.

(Hi Barbara and Nina)


God bless the troops!