Some days you just can't win. Today started out pretty good. The usual pleasant time while waiting for the kids' bus. The weather is gorgeous. Then I get to church. I was chewed out for doing what has always been my job. And to make it worse, it happened in front of a group of students I was working with. Setting the levels on the sound system has always been my job. I usually turn up the ambo setting for the kids because they are a little hard to hear. Well, I won't be doing that any more. Apparently, just turning that one knob upset the delicate balance that had been achieved. It will now take 3 morning masses to straighten it out. Okay, got it. I will not touch the settings any more. But then I had to hear it again, and so did the kids. I guess I need to grow a thicker skin, but sheesh, how was I supposed to know that I wasn't supposed to touch the settings? I fought very hard not to cry all through mass, the kids knew something was wrong. I acted like I had an eyelash in my eye, but even now I'm crying.
And what really ticks me off is I would not have even opened the cabinet if I had known that I was no longer in charge of the sound system. And the frosting on the cake was, as I walked out of the church, still trying to keep it together, one of the ladies made it a point to tell me that she was sick of the songs we have been using. There are maybe two people who ever tell me "good job." I know I don't do it for my own glory, but good grief - there has to be a happy medium between praise and chastisement. The thing is, he won't get it. He won't understand. So there is no smoothing this over. I just need to suck it up and remember why I do what I do - not for me, not for him, but for God.
I emailed him and let him know how bad he made me feel. No apology - no nothing. Which is fine, but then I find out that this has irritated him from the beginning and instead of cluing me in, he humiliates me in front of the students. So I asked if there was anything else I needed to know. Apparently everything I've been doing has been wrong. So I am on the lookout for a part-time afternoon job so that I can still be there for the kids. I cannot work in a place where I am not respected and am expected to know what's going on in someone's mind. I've had issues with pastors in the past, but we could always talk and get it resolved. I don't think that's going to happen here.
Well, that's behind me. Now I need to get busy filling some orders and pouring some tarts and candles. Those are happy things so my day will definitely be getting better from here on in.
Word of the day:
Friday of the Twenty-seventh week in Ordinary Time
Today the Church celebrates : St. Demetrius, Martyr († c. 306)
Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Luke 11:15-26.
Some of them said, "By the power of Beelzebul, the prince of demons, he drives out demons." Others, to test him, asked him for a sign from heaven. But he knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste and house will fall against house. And if Satan is divided against himself, how will his kingdom stand? For you say that it is by Beelzebul that I drive out demons. If I, then, drive out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your own people drive them out? Therefore they will be your judges. But if it is by the finger of God that (I) drive out demons, then the kingdom of God has come upon you. When a strong man fully armed guards his palace, his possessions are safe. But when one stronger than he attacks and overcomes him, he takes away the armor on which he relied and distributes the spoils. Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters. When an unclean spirit goes out of someone, it roams through arid regions searching for rest but, finding none, it says, 'I shall return to my home from which I came.' But upon returning, it finds it swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and brings back seven other spirits more wicked than itself who move in and dwell there, and the last condition of that person is worse than the first."
Sunday Spiritual
1 hour ago
4 comments:
Sounds like you had a lousy morning - it is NO fun working hard at church and then being blasted for doing what you thought was your best. I'm sorry you had to go through that (been there). Let's pray for ourselves, that we can be humble and let's pray for those who have hurt us - perhaps they are having a bad day too. Our Lord knows you have tried your best, and that is all that really matters.
~Blessings~
Thanks so much, Wendy. I will pray for him, but I also know that I will not be able to stay there if this is the way it's going to be. And it's sad because I've been there for 34 years and have dealt with all kinds of personalities, but this total lack of empathy has me stymied. If I did that to someone, I would feel terrible, but he is acting like he's the one who has been wronged. I don't know if I can be around someone who has such a total disconnect from how his actions affect someone.
Well, God Bless you friend! I have always been very fortunate with the priests I have come across in my life since becoming Catholic. I can only imagine how hurtful it is to give of yourself with love and have it unappreciated. Sorry for the discomfort and I hope you find a more peaceful solution.
Courtney, This is so bad that for the first time I am seriously questioning whether I want to stay in a church that produces spiritual leaders like this. Before I do anything I will write the bishop. I have written 2 letters to a bishop in my 34 years. One was to thank him for sending us a wonderful pastor for 9 years, and the other was to point out the strong points of a new priest who was struggling in his ministry. I have dealt with priests who were out and out jerks, but this lack of empathy and compassion for others (and I'm not just talking about my experience with him) is, in my opinion, a serious lack for a priest - pretty much a deal breaker.
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