Weigh-in May 25, 2008

On the lowcarb front:

Well, I'm down .4 pounds for the week. Not too bad, it wasn't a great week for staying the course. I had a couple days this week where I went off track. One of my habits when that happens is to head for everything I have been denying myself. I discovered this week that none of those foods is really all that great. All I really wanted was the one thing I ate. It wasn't necessary to scavenge the cupboards for anything else. This tells me that it "ain't about the food." Now, of course I know that - I've always known it. But it really hit home this week. It's the strange thing about these food issues. People with other illnesses don't do this kind of thing when they have a setback. But what I realized is that with other illnesses, it isn't the illness they use as a coping mechanism. Or maybe with psychological issues, that is exactly the case. Maybe that is what makes mental issues different from physical issues. I don't know, I'm still trying to figure it all out after 56 years.



I can remember using food as a coping mechanism when I was little. It was the only "power" I had as a kid. There was no way to deal with my mother's illness and all of the family stress it caused. So I ate - as a way of comforting myself, or filling a void, or whatever. Food was always there in a way that people weren't.



I believe that each of us is given a challenge in life that we are to battle. This is mine - it seems that it has always been mine. And as miserable as it has made me in my life, I wouldn't trade it for someone else's.