Wednesday, July 16, 2008

On the lowcarb front:
My stats for today:
Type: none
Route: none
I’m up .6 from last Wednesday
I woke up today dead tired and with a splitting headache. My mood is terrible. My joints ache. I am going to take a lazy day. I need to catch up on stockings but I am going to do it at my own pace. I was thinking about yesterday's post. My momentum is flagging. Today I am turning off my critical mind. I am going to stay the course and when negative thoughts creep in, I am going to nip them in the bud. I am just going to have to learn to run on autopilot on days when the motivation is low. Those are the days when I begin to have doubts. "You haven't succeeded yet, what makes you think you will now?" Someone actually said that to me, but I have said it enough times to myself. I remember when I used to go to Weight Watchers. I would see the same people there week after week, year after year, and very few ever made so much as a dent in their weight. And those were usually people who were motivated by some major life event.

Most people were there, I think, because they wanted the companionship. They were lonely. Yes, they wanted to lose weight, but only as a fringe benefit. I think people who compulsively overeat do so because they are lacking something in their lives and it's much easier to stuff a donut in their mouths than to actually find out what it is that is missing. I know that's the case for me.

I still think that this funk I am in is cyclical or hormonal, but I won't know until I track it for a while. Most of the time I can put a smile on my face and go about my business and unless you are a family member, you won't know there is anything going on. It takes an incredible amount of energy to put up that kind of a facade.

I don't know, I'm in a weird mood today.
After I posted the above, I was checking out some blogs: "Kimorexia" and "Weighing the Facts." (see my blog list to the right) They had a YouTube video called "Fighting Disordered Thoughts - Anorexia". I clicked on the video - not because I am anorexic- far from it - but because I think anorexia and binge/compulsive eating are two sides of the same eating disorder coin. I recognized the exact same disordered thinking that I experience - it was absolutely uncanny. I will be bookmarking this video:



On the home/business front:
Found a canopy online to use for craft shows. It was pretty pricey, but hopefully it will pay for itself with a couple of shows.

I made caramel apple tarts and a pillar yesterday. I sent another batch of stockings home with Melisa for her to sew up. We now have 55 stocking bottoms made. We need to do 200 at the very least and 400 would be better. I sent in the final proof for the Country Sampler ad. We have less than 6 weeks before it hits the stands and then we shall see what we shall see.

Word of the day:
Matthew 11:25-27
At that time Jesus said, "I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him."

Thoughts from the Cornfield:
Kids have an uncanny way of cutting right through the bull and getting straight to the point. I often wonder if it because they haven't accumulated all of the "junk" that we tend to collect throughout life. They have no preconceived notions. They live in the present. They trust that those around them tell the truth. They trust that their needs will be taken care of. They have no worries about where their next meal is coming from. A missionary who visited our church once remarked that children have these special qualities because they are so recently from God. It is ironic that the "simple" people understood Jesus, while the learned elites spent their time trying to trick and trap him. It is the rare individual who can retain his childlike qualities while living in an adult world.

God bless the troops!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

On the lowcarb front:
As I predicted yesterday, today's weigh-in is a disaster. I am up 5.2 pounds from last Sunday. Now I know that some of that is water weight, but I can't blame it all on that. I don't know what it is with me that I can do so well for a while and then completely land in the mud. I was tempted to not even post the results for today, but I think every struggle and stumble needs to be recorded so that I can see what the patterns are in this journey.

Yesterday I did well. We went to a wedding reception - I stuck with veggies and chicken. Drank 1 diet coke and then water the rest of the evening. So that is a non-scale victory - I focused just on yesterday. Today I will do the same. Hopefully, the news next week will be better. I am trying not to be discouraged, but I keep sabatoging myself and I can't seem to get a handle on this food thing.

But I'm going to keep plugging along anyway.

Here are my stats for today:
Workout: Treadmill
Time: 30 minutes
Ave. Hrt rate: 119
Max. Hrt rate: 150
Calories burned: 210
comparison from last Sunday: up 5.2

Word of the day:
Matthew 11:25-30
Jesus said, 'I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.'

Reflections from the cornfield:
We are called to enter the Kingdom of God as little children. Children trust - they don't analyze, they take things at face value. A visiting missionary once put it this way. "Little children trust because they have more recently been in the company of God." It's true, you know. As we journey on this earth, we accumulate things - not just material things, but spiritual baggage. A child does not know how to discriminate. He will notice differences, but not in a judgemental way. Bigotry is a learned trait - not something we are born with.

A child trusts that his needs will be taken care of. He doesn't sit around worrying about where his next meal is coming from. He just trusts that when he cries out, he will be given food, or warmth, or clothing, or shelter. But as we grow older, we see things differently. We see that there are people who don't have enough shelter, or enough to eat, or clothes to wear. We grow cynical. Often, we blame God for allowing such things to happen. But who is the body of Christ? We are given that charge to take care of our brothers and sisters. This is not a heavy burden - this yoke is easy - if we act out of love. I never hear this passage from Matthew without thinking of the air from "Messiah" entitled "He Shall Feed His Flock." And he does - at Eucharist through his body and blood and in the world through us. At the end of the Mass the words in latin used to be "Ita Missa Est. " "It is the mission." In English the words now are "Go in peace to love and serve the Lord and each other." First comes the love - that is what makes the yoke easy and the burden light. No?




God bless the troops!