God Bless Our Troops
Showing posts with label struggling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label struggling. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

On the lowcarb front:
My stats for today:
Type: none
Route: none
I’m up .6 from last Wednesday
I woke up today dead tired and with a splitting headache. My mood is terrible. My joints ache. I am going to take a lazy day. I need to catch up on stockings but I am going to do it at my own pace. I was thinking about yesterday's post. My momentum is flagging. Today I am turning off my critical mind. I am going to stay the course and when negative thoughts creep in, I am going to nip them in the bud. I am just going to have to learn to run on autopilot on days when the motivation is low. Those are the days when I begin to have doubts. "You haven't succeeded yet, what makes you think you will now?" Someone actually said that to me, but I have said it enough times to myself. I remember when I used to go to Weight Watchers. I would see the same people there week after week, year after year, and very few ever made so much as a dent in their weight. And those were usually people who were motivated by some major life event.

Most people were there, I think, because they wanted the companionship. They were lonely. Yes, they wanted to lose weight, but only as a fringe benefit. I think people who compulsively overeat do so because they are lacking something in their lives and it's much easier to stuff a donut in their mouths than to actually find out what it is that is missing. I know that's the case for me.

I still think that this funk I am in is cyclical or hormonal, but I won't know until I track it for a while. Most of the time I can put a smile on my face and go about my business and unless you are a family member, you won't know there is anything going on. It takes an incredible amount of energy to put up that kind of a facade.

I don't know, I'm in a weird mood today.
After I posted the above, I was checking out some blogs: "Kimorexia" and "Weighing the Facts." (see my blog list to the right) They had a YouTube video called "Fighting Disordered Thoughts - Anorexia". I clicked on the video - not because I am anorexic- far from it - but because I think anorexia and binge/compulsive eating are two sides of the same eating disorder coin. I recognized the exact same disordered thinking that I experience - it was absolutely uncanny. I will be bookmarking this video:



On the home/business front:

Found a canopy online to use for craft shows. It was pretty pricey, but hopefully it will pay for itself with a couple of shows.

I made caramel apple tarts and a pillar yesterday. I sent another batch of stockings home with Melisa for her to sew up. We now have 55 stocking bottoms made. We need to do 200 at the very least and 400 would be better. I sent in the final proof for the Country Sampler ad. We have less than 6 weeks before it hits the stands and then we shall see what we shall see.

Word of the day:
Matthew 11:25-27
At that time Jesus said, "I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him."

Thoughts from the Cornfield:
Kids have an uncanny way of cutting right through the bull and getting straight to the point. I often wonder if it because they haven't accumulated all of the "junk" that we tend to collect throughout life. They have no preconceived notions. They live in the present. They trust that those around them tell the truth. They trust that their needs will be taken care of. They have no worries about where their next meal is coming from. A missionary who visited our church once remarked that children have these special qualities because they are so recently from God. It is ironic that the "simple" people understood Jesus, while the learned elites spent their time trying to trick and trap him. It is the rare individual who can retain his childlike qualities while living in an adult world.

God bless the troops!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

On the lowcarb front:
My stats for today:
Type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/back/tree in Brown's field/back
Time: 31 minutes
Average heart rate: 124
Maximum heart rate: 144
Calories burned: 243
I’m down .8 from last Tuesday
I got out on the road at about 8:45 this morning. I am pleased at how consistent I have been on getting that in. What I am not happy about is my constant straying from my food plan. I will go along, doing well, feeling great and then these niggling voices creep in. The smart thing to do would be to ignore them, but I don't. I start bargaining, thinking I can have it both ways with food and before I know it I am back in the dirt. I don't know what I would do without the lowcarb bloggers and other online support because they at least inspire me to get back up and try yet again. There are days I wish I could just get up and not have to fight this constant battle. But then I think about peo
ple who health issues over which they have no control and I feel like a whiney baby. So I am going to stop whining and do what needs to be done. (I am typing all of this for the second time because the page crashed and none of it had been saved.)

On the home/business front:
Got absolutely nothing done today. I have to do another batch of tarts, but I have to wait for the pour pot to come out of the dishwasher.

The soap I made las
t night was vanilla. Vanilla fragrance oil, depending on how much is in a blend, turns soap brown. Straight vanilla turns soap a dark chocolate brown. It's interesting because the raw soap goes into the mold a lovely beige and over time turns darker. When I cut a cured bar, it is light on the inside but as the air gets to it it turns dark again. It's funny to watch people pick it up expecting it to smell like chocolate. My newest batch isn't quite as dark as the one in the picture, but it will be soon.


I had a funeral to play for this morning. Then I watched grandkids which really meant I played with grandkids because that's much more fun that doing anything else. Then our financial guy came over so now here it is after 7 pm and I have no stockings done or tarts made so I am going to get my tush downstairs and get those tarts made.


Word of the day:
Matthew 11:20-24
Then Jesus began to reproach the cities in which most of his deeds of power had been done, because they did not repent. "Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the deeds of power done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I tell you, on the day of judgment it will be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon than for you. And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? No, you will be brought down to Hades. For if the deeds of power done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. But I tell you that on the day of judgment it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom than for you."

Thoughts from the cornfield:
To whom much is given, much is expected. Let those who have ears, hear.


God bless the troops!